Communication Styles – A Personal Checklist by Rebecca Shafir

Four Different Communication Styles: Expresser, Driver, Relater and Analytical.

Check the box(es) that best describe your style. Styles may overlap. Exchange your self-assessment with a co-worker or family member so you can better understand each other’s communication style.

FACTORS:	EXPRESSER	DRIVER	RELATER	ANALYTICAL
How to recognize:	I get excited.	I like my own way; decisive & strong viewpoints.	I like positive attention, to be helpful & to be regarded warmly.	I seek a lot of data, ask many questions, behave methodically & systematically.
I tend to ask:	Who? (the personal dominant question)	What (the results oriented question.)	Why? (the personal non-goal question.)	How? (the technical analytical question.)
What I dislike:	Boring explanations or wasting time with too many facts.	Someone wasting my time; trying to decide for me.	Rejection, treated impersonally, uncaring & unfeeling attitudes.	Making an error, being unprepared, spontaneity.
I react to pressure & tension by:	"Selling" my ideas or being argumentative.	Taking charge, taking more control.	Becoming silent, withdrawing, introspective.	Seeking more data & information.
Best way for others to deal with me:	Get excited with me. Show emotion.	Let me be in charge.	Be supportive; show you care.	Provide lots of data & information.
I like to be measured by:	Applause, feedback, recognition.	Results, goal-oriented.	Friends, close relationships.	Activity & busyness that leads to results.
I must be allowed to:	Get ahead quickly. I like challenges.	Get into a competitive situation. Like to win.	Relax, feel, care, know others care.	Make decisions at my pace, not be cornered or pressured.
*I will improve with:*	Recognition & some structure with which to reach the goal.	A position that requires cooperation with others.	A structure of goals & methods for achieving each goal.	Work on interpersonal and communication skills.
I like to save:	Effort. I rely heavily on hunches, intuition, feelings.	Time. I like to be efficient, get things done now.	Relationships. Friendship means a lot to me.	Face. I hate to make an error, be wrong or get caught without enough info.
For best results, I need to be:	Inspired to bigger & better accomplishments.	Allowed freedom to do things my own way.	Assisted & provided with detail, specific plans & activities to be accomplished.	Given a structure a framework or "track" to follow.

Are you...	PASSIVE	ASSERTIVE	AGGRESSIVE
Definition	Communication style in which you put the rights of others before your own, minimizing your own self worth	Communication style in which you stand up for your rights while maintaining respect for the rights of others	Communication style in which you stand up for your rights but you violate the rights of others
Implication to Others	My feelings are not important; I don't matter; I think I'm inferior	We are both important; we both matter; I think we are equal	Your feelings are not important; you don't matter; I think I'm superior
Verbal Styles	Apologetic; overly soft or tentative voice	I statements; firm voice	You statements; loud voice
Non-Verbal Styles	Looking down or away; stooped posture, excessive head nodding	Looking direct: relaxed posture, smooth and relaxed movements	Staring, narrow eyes; tense, clenched fists, rigid posture, pointing fingers
Potential Consequences	Lowered self esteem; anger at self; false feelings of inferiority; disrespect from others	Higher self esteem; self respect; respect from others; respect of others	Guilt; anger from others; lowered self esteem; disrespect from others; feared by others