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Mastering Emotional Self-Regulation: The Core Skill Every Entrepreneur Needs

by | August 23, 2024 | Blog, Entrepreneurship, Lifestyle

No matter where you are in your entrepreneurial journey, there are steps you can take to maximize your success. While many factors beyond your control can derail a startup—like shortages, the economy, or pandemics—there are critical elements you can control.

ESR For Entrepreneurs
Research for my upcoming book The COREageous Entrepreneur: The Four Core Skills and Routines Every Founder Needs to Succeed,  reveals four essential skills and routines that significantly increase the likelihood of startup success. Emotional Self-Regulation (ESR), the core of the core, tops them all.

ESR is the ability to modify or control your thoughts, emotions, actions, and words. For entrepreneurs, ESR skills are challenged more than for the average worker. For example, a closer look at failed startups in 2020 like Atrium, Zirtual, and Dijit showed that the mental health issues of the founders were the source of their demise.

As Peter Drucker, the renowned author and management consultant, once said: “Entrepreneurship requires more than just hard work. It requires emotional maturity, the ability to withstand stress, and the foresight to keep a clear head even when everything around you is falling apart.”

Similarly, Sara Blakely, a Shark Tank investor and founder of Spanx, noted, “The emotional journey of an entrepreneur goes from the highest highs to the lowest lows, sometimes in the same day.”

Gary Vaynerchuk, better known as Gary Vee, entrepreneur, and investor, also shares this sentiment: “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t feel that pressure, but I embrace it because it’s a reflection of the responsibility I’ve taken on.”

Emotional Intelligence and Self-Regulation in Business
Emotional self-regulation (ESR) is crucial for personal well-being, healthy relationships, and for effective leadership in business. It allows you to navigate challenges with resilience and clarity. When your level of emotional intelligence increases, your emotions are in check, you can solve problems efficiently, make better decisions, and communicate more effectively. ESR is, indeed, a core element of startup success.

Key Aspects of ESR Include:

  1. Awareness: Recognizing your emotional state and the factors that influence it.
  2. Control: Modulating your emotional reactions to situations.
  3. Adaptability: Adjusting your emotions to fit the demands of different situations.
  4. Impulse Management: Resisting the urge to act without thinking first.

(To assess your ESR more thoroughly, see my Emotional Self-Regulation checklist.)

Strategies for Successful ESR:

  • Mindfulness practices: Meditation helps entrepreneurs stay present and reduce stress. Regular meditation improves focus and emotional resilience, helping them navigate difficult situations with a clearer mind.
  • Exercise: Many entrepreneurs incorporate regular physical activity into their routines, such as running, yoga, or strength training. This helps reduce stress hormones and improve mood.
  • Therapy and coaching: Entrepreneurs often work with therapists or coaches to develop coping strategies, gain perspective, and improve emotional intelligence.
  • Reframing challenges: Viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats can significantly reduce anxiety. Entrepreneurs who cultivate a growth mindset handle setbacks with more resilience.
  • Executive function coaching: This helps build structured routines for getting work done well and on time, reducing overwhelm and increasing accountability.
  • Support network: Building a strong support network of friends, family, mentors, and peers is crucial. Sharing experiences and challenges with others who understand the entrepreneurial journey can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation.
  • Maintaining boundaries: Entrepreneurs who make time for hobbies, relaxation, and relationships are better equipped to handle stress.
  • Journaling and self-reflection: These help entrepreneurs process their thoughts and emotions, leading to greater self-awareness and emotional regulation.
  • Prioritizing sleep and nutrition: Entrepreneurs who prioritize sleep and nutrition are generally better able to manage stress and make sound decisions.

Need help in building your emotional core? CoreCoaching often teams up with other therapists to create a strong foundation for managing the ups and downs of entrepreneurship. Contact me at Rebecca@MindfulCommunication.com.

 

“Comparison is the Thief of Joy”

by | November 15, 2023 | Entrepreneurship

Attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the U.S., this quote is one to ponder. As we get closer to the holidays, we tend to reflect and compare our accomplishments over the last year with other people. Folks around the dinner table will be asking if you’ve broke even yet, while they rave about their kid who sold her company to Google following her engagement to an investment banker.  We may see an old school chum driving their Maserati down Main Street with some hot date in the passenger seat.

There are dozens of other ways where “comparison” can devolve to “envy.” When we compare ourselves to others, we can’t assume that what we see is an ideal picture. For example, your chum in the Maserati Ghibli could be parading around because he doesn’t want observers or his girlfriend to know that his business is on the skids. You may discover that your family friend’s daughter with the windfall of cash and a rich fiancé is in therapy twice a week to manage her severe OCD. Talk to just about anyone who has more luck or accomplished a lot more than you, and you’ll find their “baggage” to be similar and often weightier than yours.

Envy is a delusion. I credit the author and psychologist, Jordan Peterson, with his way of shifting our thinking away from envy to “comparing ourselves to ourselves.”  He insists we look at the actions we have taken toward our goals. For example, if you have become just 1% more knowledgeable, more efficient, or more productive each month for the last 11 months, that’s approximately 12.68% better than last year at this time. (This calculation is based on the concept of compound interest, where the growth each month is not just additive but also compounds on the previous month’s growth.)

According to Peterson, and I paraphrase — neurophysiologically and neuropharmacologically, we know that the core of joy and positive emotion is observation of progress toward a desirable goal. Shift your focus from self-delusion to self-comparison. It’s kinder, measurable and better for your well-being.

Want to accrue more “compound interest” in your personal growth each month? Contact me at Rebecca@MindfulCommunication.com. Learn about my CoreCoaching method at www.MindfulCommunication.com.