by rshafir | September 23, 2025 | Blog, Entrepreneurship, Uncategorized
Kyle, a fintech founder near Salt Lake City, recently wrote:
“Rebecca, my startup is gradually picking up new clients but at a very slow rate. I’ve been advised to double down on networking, but I hate small talk—probably because I’m terrible at it. Can you give me some ways of getting better?”
If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone. Many founders find small talk awkward. But the ability to start and sustain casual conversations is essential to building the trust and connections your startup needs.
Here are some practical ways to improve:
✅ Accept it. Small talk is an essential communication skill for founders. Think of it as a bridge to learning something new, deeper conversations and future opportunities.
✅ Reframe it as a treasure hunt. Be curious: “What brings you to this event?” or “Where are you in your startup journey?” Avoid tired topics like the weather. Make it a goal to leave an event learning at least three things about the other attendants. Not all conversations will yield treasure, but that’s what makes networking a hunt.
✅ Answer with substance. When asked, “How’s your day?” go beyond “Good.” Try: “Much better now that interest rates dropped—what’s your take on that?”
✅ Notice and ask. “I see you’re using a Remarkable tablet—how do you like it?” Or offer a genuine compliment that sparks more dialogue: Your comment to the speaker was spot on. That’s been my experience too.
✅ Limit self-talk. Keep your story to 30 seconds. Then, as I emphasize in my book The Zen of Listening, shift fully into their “movie.” Put aside your agenda to imagine how they see the world. Folks can tell when you’re thinking about what you’re going to say next instead of really listening to them.
✅ Exit gracefully. Wrap up a conversation with: “It’s been great talking with you (use their name) —I don’t want to monopolize your time. Best of luck with [their project].” If that is difficult for you, as it is for many folks, practice your exit line in front of the mirror until you’re comfortable saying it.
✅ Practice in safe spaces. Try out small talk with Uber drivers, waiters, or baristas—low-stakes reps make you more confident at events. Use people’s names if available and create a personal connection.
Two extra tips just for founders:
✅ Prepare 2–3 “go-to” openers (“What’s been the highlight of your week?”). This prevents awkward silences.
✅ Use follow-up as small talk’s secret weapon for contacts that you sincerely appreciate. Send a short note the next day referencing something they mentioned. It shows you listened—and builds credibility.
If you want to dig deeper, research backs this up: small talk enhances both trust and wellbeing. (Harvard Business Review, Psychology Today).
Need practice? I offer single-session coaching for founders who want to sharpen their small-talk and listening skills. Reach me at Rebecca@MindfulCommunication.com.
by rshafir | June 18, 2024 | Uncategorized
Diedre, a CEO from a startup in Boston, requested a post about how to collaborate more effectively with a co-founder from a strictly academic background. This pairing, while powerful, often brings inherent conflicts due to their different mindsets and working styles. However, understanding these differences and implementing strategies to harmonize them can lead to a highly successful collaboration.
Understanding the Differences
Mindset and Approach:
- Non-Academicians typically have a pragmatic approach, focusing on market needs, quick solutions, and practical applications. They are often driven by results and speed, prioritizing getting products to market as quickly as possible.
- Academicians tend to emphasize thoroughness, rigor, and depth of knowledge. Their approach is often research-oriented, valuing detailed analysis, theoretical frameworks, and long-term impact over immediate results https://hbr.org/2013/09/the-rigorous-research-approach.
Communication Styles:
Typical Conflicts and Their Solutions
- Decision-Making Speed vs. Thoroughness
- Conflict: Non-academicians may get frustrated with the academicians’ need for detailed research and validation before making decisions, while academicians may view the non-academicians’ quick decision-making as hasty or ill-informed.
- Solution: Establish a decision-making framework that respects both perspectives. For instance, set clear timelines for decisions, allowing adequate time for research but also enforcing deadlines to maintain momentum. This can be coupled with a tiered approach where quick decisions are made for low-impact issues, while high-impact decisions undergo thorough analysis https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/250314.
- Resource Allocation
- Conflict: Non-academicians might prioritize funding for marketing and sales to drive immediate growth, while academicians may advocate for investing in research and development to ensure long-term innovation.
- Solution: Create a balanced budget that allocates resources to both immediate needs and future growth. Regularly review the allocation to adjust based on the startup’s evolving priorities and outcomes. This ensures that neither aspect is neglected, fostering both short-term success and long-term sustainability https://www.inc.com/startup-resource-allocation.html.
- Product Development Focus
- Conflict: Non-academicians often push for MVPs (Minimum Viable Products) to test the market quickly, whereas academicians may insist on more polished, thoroughly tested products.
- Solution: Adopt a hybrid development model where initial versions are released as MVPs to gather market feedback, followed by iterative improvements based on user data and further research. This approach satisfies the need for market validation while ensuring continuous enhancement of the product’s quality https://techcrunch.com/2017/07/10/the-importance-of-mvps/.
- Risk Tolerance
- Conflict: Non-academicians are generally more willing to take risks, driven by the need to disrupt and innovate rapidly. Academicians, accustomed to the caution inherent in research, may advocate for a more conservative approach.
- Solution: Develop a risk management strategy that combines both perspectives. Use data-driven risk assessments to guide decisions, and implement contingency plans to mitigate potential downsides. This creates a balanced approach where calculated risks are taken with adequate safeguards in place https://mitsloan.mit.edu/ideas-made-to-matter/risk-management.
Cultivating Mutual Respect and Trust
For the collaboration to thrive, both founders need to cultivate mutual respect and trust. This can be achieved through:
- Open Communication: Regularly scheduled meetings to discuss progress, challenges, and ideas. Encouraging open dialogue ensures that both parties feel heard and valued https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/15714-building-trust-business-partnerships.html.
- Defining Roles Clearly: Clearly delineate each founder’s responsibilities based on their strengths. This minimizes conflicts and overlaps while maximizing efficiency.
- Shared Vision: Reiterate the startup’s vision and goals regularly to ensure both founders are aligned and motivated by a common purpose.
Leveraging Complementary Strengths
The true power of this partnership lies in leveraging complementary strengths. Non-academicians can drive the business forward with their market savvy and agility, while academicians can anchor the startup with their expertise and thoroughness. By acknowledging and valuing these differences, founders can create a balanced and innovative startup poised for success https://www.inc.com/complementary-strengths-partnerships.html.
Having challenges communicating with team players from different backgrounds? CoreCoaching can help. Contact me at Rebecca@MindfulCommunication.com.
"It takes more than courage to be an Entrepreneur, it takes CORE."